You learn more about someone at the end of a relationship, than in the beginning
Falling in love is the most beautiful feeling a human being can experience. After all, in love is the place where we all belong and the state to which everyone wants to return. Meeting with your twin flame will bring you a mixed feeling of ecstasy and relief. Life is finally giving you a break, a moment to breathe. The twin flame immediately becomes your best friend. No longer there is a need to hide. We can relax and express ourselves in the way we really are. This is the person we have been looking for all our lives through the memory of something we have never experienced, but which is very alive in all of us.
This memory is used by some people as an emotional map to move through life in search of that person with the feeling that we already know them. In ‘Calling In The One: In The Quest Of Love’, I wrote the simplicity and description of such process. Unfortunately, most people give up on this memory, the idea and the feeling to settle for someone else and a safe life. A safe life is what we have been taught to believe in, even though there is not safety in safe. However, renouncing to the memory does not remove the feeling or the hope of the twin flame, leading to a deep sense of dissatisfaction
Most people will not meet their twin flame for this reason. In order to meet with them we need to go on an adventure, to look actively, not for a physical person, but for healing and enlightenment. The twin flame will appear when we believe, trust and hope with our hearts, not with our minds. In the person we find friendship, someone we can trust with the truth of who we are.
In a world where no one seems to trust anyone else, the encounter with a friend feels like Nirvana, only that we rely on another person to arrive there. The journey to Nirvana however is something we do alone. Being with another person brings comfort, support and encouragement, but we must always remember that the answer is within and that for as long as we see the answer in another person, we will never get there.
Friendship with a twin flame never ends even when our paths separate and we never see them again. Both still remain loyal to the idea and the feeling of us. There is no revenge once the relationship ends. They might never want to talk to us again in this lifetime, but love remains behind a sheltered heart. The relationship with a twin flame can be so overwhelming and intense that at one point there is no choice but to put a physical end to it.
The end of friendship takes over, along with a feeling of desolation and that we will never find what we want or another person who can make us feel better than they did. This feeling could be with us for years to come, turning our emotional world into a desert in which we want one person only. This might be the person who never wants to see us again, our twin flame, and this definitely won’t happend for as long as we remain in our current state of consciousness.
However, this is not the end of friendship. It only appears to be so. There are a few facts that we miss when this happens. One is understanding heartbreak and how essential it is to go through it in order to finally heal. The first step is acceptance.
There is also a need to continue expressing ourselves as we are; to stop hiding as we used to do before we met our twin flame. Our expression should not be devoted to one person only, but to the entire world and the universe. What we look for is the universal; universal and unconditional love, therefore we must continue expressing ourselves without fear. By expressing who we are to the world, we end with the need to hide. There is nothing to hide. Our secrets are not so secret after all, and while we might have the impression that we are somehow special and different, everyone else is also different and special and they are most likely struggling with similar issues. The more we express ourselves as we are to others, the sooner we will find our true expression.
However, it is important to differentiate in between the expression of the soul and the expression of the ego. The soul speaks in a language that allows us to feel vulnerable, so as to separate from social conditioning and to find love within. The ego, we all know, is what brought us to the place where we are now and what created the struggle. As we separate from the twin flame, we must also separate from the dictate of ego. It is the resistance of ego what creates separation. It is a personal choice to continue allowing ego to the rule our lives, or to allow a path of responsibility, fun and humbleness. There characteristics, the ego does not know of.
The end of physical friendship is perhaps the most devastating aspect of separation. We no longer have a friend we can confide our deepest wishes and fears. But this is also the perfect time to build a relationship with ourselves, so as to realise that the friend we are truly looking for is within us and not in another person. It is essential that we remove the idea of another person as the saviour. The best friend we could ever have is within. For as long as we look for the answer outside, we will never find the real answer. We are the answer.
However wonderful the time with a twin flame has been, what made us feel so wonderful and liberated was not entirely the physical contact, but the fact that we expressed our true feelings and emotions to someone else. There is, somehow, a natural reaction to closing down to others and the world, as if preserving all our beauty for the return of the twin flame. If there is not a true expression of the self, we recede into a state of seclusion in which the soul feels incarcerated. Let’s regain our freedom by continuing to express ourselves in ways the make us feel alive, as if that person was still with us. It is a way to honour them, the self and all the unexpressed love we hold within. Saving love for a special occasion will prevent us from expressing it when it matters.
The soul cannot be damaged by anyone. This is nothing but a human feeling created by social conditioning. We don’t owe our lives to one person, but to ourselves and the universe, including everyone else in the world. Find your true expression through creativity and love. This is what makes you attractive and what gives you the opportunity to find yourself. Closing to the world, also stops all chances we might have to find true love with another person.
This new period without the twin flame is ideal to find self-love, so as to finally realise that the friend we are looking for is the self. Let’s begin to treat ourselves as such and allow the soul to express itself freely. You already know what you do to stop the soul from being free. Let’s not allow the temporary feeling of immediate gratification to govern our lives. To be our own best friend, we must act like one. And the only way we can do this is with love and self-love. Only when we truly love ourselves, we can love others and attract that person we really want to be with. It might not be who we thought it might be, but to love, this is a small detail of no importance.
If love does not come to us, it is only because we are not open to love. It is time to let go of the idea of how it should be and to allow what it is. There will be a time for reunion. We just have to trust on divine timing. Until then, let’s make the most of it.
This article was republished with kind permission from Manel Blanco