Toxic people are found all around us. They are at work the like colleague who has it in for you and hates seeing you succeed. They at your kids school those moms who always try to outshine the other the mom that pushes their kids to the breaking point just, so they can get all the attention. The family member that always has some form of drama that they want to involve you in that completely wears you out every time you interact with them. All these people can easily be compared to energy vampires depleting us of our attention and energy. What all these individuals have in common is toxicity, and it’s unbearable to spend time with them.
Their primary goal is to cause havoc and drama in our lives for they feed off it. They add no value to your live neither do they inspire or enrich. Toxic people are highly destructive. Unfortunately, toxic people don’t come with a label, and it takes time to recognize them. It’s vital to protect yourself against them and learn how to deal with them successfully. To be able to note of a Toxic person you will have to familiarize yourself with their toxic traits.
Luckily there are several easy-to-spot signs that, when you’re aware of them, enable you to pick them out a mile off.
Toxic people always need to be right.
There need to be right surpasses any form of truth or common sense. They hate being proven wrong and will fight you tooth and nail to prove there point until you finally agree with them. Your opinion does not matter to them at all; It’s all about them all the time. The only time they will agree with you or take your side if it’s to their benefit. They hate if good luck passes your way, everything should be about them. It kills them if you get noticed, and they don’t.
Toxic people love playing the card.
They never take ownership of their problems and always blame others for mistakes and things going wrong in their lives. They love having your attention and will do anything to keep it even creating problems for you to solve as that gives them validation. Their problems never get solved it only escalates to more drama. They live off your sympathy and support and don’t mind lying or manipulation situations, people and events to retain it.
Toxic people never say anything good about anyone.
They have no idea what the word loyalty means and will gossip about everyone to everyone who is willing to lend an ear. We all have our faults, but they thrive of letting others know exactly what yours are and if it’s not bad enough they don’t mind adding a tale to make it more exciting or to make them look good or portray them as the victim. Running others down comes naturally to them, and they are doing the same to you behind your back.
Toxic people are evasive.
They will lie at the drop of a hat and find strength in breaking others down. They have entirely no backbone and will avoid questions that implicate them to such a level that the truth gets twisted until no one is sure what going on anymore. They use control tactics to cover up inadequacy. They are master manipulators and will sabotage anyone who gets in their way. They will never give you a straight answer and will overcomplicate any situation or project if they are not in the spotlight or if someone else is better at it than them.
Toxic people are bad listeners and continuously interrupt others.
They can make every conversation about them and when something terrible has happened to someone be sure that something similar or worse happened to them. Toxic people will talk over anyone and will not give people a chance to talk about anything that does not include them. Intellectual conversations will bore them, and they will find a way to turn the conversation or act to know better even if they have no knowledge about the topic and when they do get called out for talking hogwash they will be evasive and leave or play the victim card again.
Toxic people are abusive.
They can justify their abusive action to make you feel that you deserved it. The truth, however, is no person who is abusive is a good person regardless if its verbal abuse, mental abuse or physical abuse and nothing you do or say can ever justify that full stop. They are unable to take responsibility for there actions and will even go as far as blaming a childhood trauma or a mental blackout to justify the situation or abusive act. If you are in an abusive relationship with a toxic person you need to get out of the situation as fast as possible cause it will only escalate over time.
How to deal with a toxic person.
Control your emotions – do not get overwhelmed by a toxic person and don’t let them get under your skin or get any reaction out of you. Detach yourself the situation and focus on your own goal. This will help you to distance yourself from the toxic storm.
Know when to fight back- impulsiveness and aggression are fights to stay away from. Don’t try and beat them at their own game; they will pull you down to their level and then beat you with” experience.”
Set boundaries- This means absolutely nothing to a toxic person, but by being consistent and true to yourself they will soon notice that they do not affect you. Even when they do never show weakness as it will only empower them, you can’t kick a lying dog. They will move on and a new victim
Reduce your exposure to toxic people– they easiest way to deal with a toxic person is to avoid any contact with them. When you are in a confrontational situation give them as little energy and attention as possible. Avoid thinking about them and train your brain to think of something positive when the thought of them arises before long you will not be affected by them at all.
The most important part is don’t allow anyone to steal your happiness or sunshine. Be proud of yourself and all your accomplishments, block any negativity received by a toxic person by replacing it with a positive affirmation. Here are a few to help you get started;
“Other people do not control my emotions; I do.”
“I release things that no longer serve me.”
“I release the need to replay situations in my mind.”
“I transform negative energy into love and light.”
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