By Manel Blaco
Everyone has made mistakes in the past. Most of us make them daily. Yet, instead of accepting and integrating our mistakes as part of being human, the immediate reaction is rejection. That mistake is already part of us and it exists for a reason. Making a mistake does not make us a mistake. Eventually mistakes would make us wise, but only when we choose to learn from them.
There is somehow a unnatural reaction of disgust towards the mistake that it is used to belittle others and ourselves. A constant reminder that we are not good enough. It begins in childhood and never ends. As children we feel an immense frustration when facing lack of understanding due to an even more natural mistake made due to lack of experience and knowledge. And yet, in adulthood we have the same critical attitude towards ourselves and others.
Making a mistake is as human as it is unavoidable. To use a mistake against a person is refusing our humanity, which we believe to be imperfect. One can never be perfect and there is no point in trying. You will be your best, perfect self when you overcome the fear of being yourself, accepting your talents and flaws.
The voice of collective consciousness which speaks to the whole of humanity that listens resigned and obedient condemns mistakes and true individuality. This is a form of control, to keep spirits down while both, individual and the collective soul live suffocated and unexpressed. We cannot blame society for this. We are society and it is up to each individual to change it. Let’s take responsibility.
Life is an individual journey which we share with many others, but no path is the same as the other. It is time that we begin to embrace our mistakes and learn the valuable lessons that come with each one. Rejecting the experience of a mistake is rejecting, both; the lesson, and the self.
Curiosity is one of the signs that the soul is alive and we are in touch with it. But curiosity dies as we grow up constantly suffocated by parents, family, educational system and society that shape us into what they want us to be, not into what we are. When someone has separated from the soul completely and follows the fear of collective consciousness, no expression of the soul would be tolerated. It is no wonder how we treat our children.
The soul is here to expand through exploration and playfulness. Avoiding the mistake and play safe only keeps the individual in a prison they create for themselves and where they live uncomfortably comfortable. The belief is: if I don’t leave the house, nothing bad will happen to me. And that is correct. Living under that premise we fail to recognise that nothing good will happen either. It is a guarantee of a life neither lived, nor explored, ignoring the fact that one day regret will inevitably appear when it’s already too. Regret for an unexplored life is the one we should really fear.
Some of us, refused to allow curiosity die regardless of the consequences. Curiosity is a vehicle to break through the mistake of what society and the world have become. It takes courage to hold on to curiosity as it does to embrace our mistakes. But it is also through curiosity that we can find the magic and beauty of life.
No one is born with the knowledge and experience to go through life in order to not make mistakes. When we make mistakes and embrace them, we explore our vulnerability, learning invaluable lessons. However, when we reject the mistake and try to cover it, so as to give an image of perfection, the effect is the opposite. We lie to ourselves and we lie to the world by creating a false image. While preserving the integrity of a public image is somehow necessary to be accepted by society, separating from vulnerability is nothing but self-denial. To get to know ourselves, we have to embrace our humanity. A making mistakes is one part of being human.
Make mistakes and learn from them. There is a different way to understand mistakes and use them for our personal development. I live with a strong intention and an even greater sense of purpose knowing what my life mission is; and even though I know that what I do works, I keep trying new things every day, making mistake after mistake. In this case, these mistakes affect only me and do not affect me at all. When something does not work, I leave it behind and on to something else.
The way I see these mistakes is that what I have tried is not what I am supposed to do or how I am supposed to get to where I want to be. The learning is constant, and so it is the richness of the experience. I won’t die with a sense of regret because I have tried and done my best.
Every mistake is a path I should not walk. Eventually the path that will take me where I want to be will appear. What if I get my feet wet, my clothes ripped and my hands scratched or dirty along the journey! The way we see a mistake can be a beautiful memory or an excuse to live afflicted to the rest. It’s all a matter of perception.
When making mistakes, it is important to avoid harming others, but this is also unavoidable. Humans are social creatures. Mistakes are often made while in the company of others. It affects family, friends and relationships. In most cases, we treat the people we love most the worst and vice versa. Take comfort knowing that sometimes we do not really harm others, but their ego, and there is a great difference between one and the other.
The mistakes that could haunt us for life are those made in relationships. This applies to what we did to others, but also what it was done to us. Take into consideration that those mistakes would have never taken place without them, even if you were the one initiating the action. Forgive yourself, regardless of the nature of the mistake. What has already happened cannot be changed. What is important is that we learn from that mistake, rectify if we have to and become better person.
The mistakes we made 10 years or 10 days ago do not define who and what we are, but there will always be someone ready to remind us of that mistake again and again. We all have people around who are very interested in keeping us anchored in regret for our past actions. These are people who were never interested in seeing you expanding or being successful. This kind of behaviour is a form of control, but also shows that these people are still living in the past.
Living attached to the emotions of the past is a certain way to never reconnect with the soul.
Let go of toxic relationships, including the one you might have with yourself. Forgive yourself and forgive others. If we could see deeply into the situation and realise why certain events took place, we would see that all of them were induced by fear of one kind or the other.
The journey is one of constant exploration and expansion. Some people would expand more rapidly than others. Seeing someone evolving and being successful might cause jealousy or envy driving them to try to halt your expansion. Some people might even seek revenge for your past actions.
There’s also a great difference between what you might have done, and what they believe or say you did. Know this difference and question if your feelings towards past events are really yours or have been projected onto you.
Be aware that those who seek revenge are driven by hate. These could be the most charming and wonderful people on the surface, but who are driven by this emotion and feel a strong sense of entitlement to get revenge. When someone is fuelled by hate -and this could be your current partner whom at the same time believes they love you- most of their actions would be loving or what we consider sociably acceptable.
Constant criticism to the point of resorting to character assassination, including inventing events or lying about you with the only intention to destroy during any disagreement is the best way to recognise them. This is done also in very subtle ways. If you feel that being with someone is like walking on a mine field and have to watch each step you take, don’t take it lightly and either remove yourself from the situation or put a stop to it. If this sounds familiar, get out of that relationship as soon as you can and put as much distance as possible.
What is described above should not be used as an excuse to hate or destroy others. No matter what has been done to you, find thenecessary love and compassion to let them go in peace. What they’re trying to do to you, they’re doing to themselves.
You are not your mistakes, but a being of light capable of healing this world with the most beautiful actions of the heart. Keep making mistakes, keep shining and keep evolving. The world needs your magic.
The one true mistake was to listen to those who tried to shape you into their ideal of perfection and as they wanted you to be. Something they could never be. It’s time that you begin to listen to yourself. And that time is now.
What matters is what you do here and now. You have the right to change, improve and become the person you always wanted to be. And if today you are not the person you were then, know that you have been successful.
Thanks to Manel Blanco for this article